bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize