doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
