girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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