it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
