I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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