i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
