I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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