Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
