what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
