Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
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Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They took my balls.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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