I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We need a shit load of segways right now
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
