If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
