Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Plan B is the new Plan A
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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