Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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