Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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