There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
