i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
