She's JV to your varsity
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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