just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
