Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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