he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize