It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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