That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
