You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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