return my video game
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
