I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
