If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
