dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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