Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
