Im at strip club and am horny
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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