You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize