TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
