Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.

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  (843): I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over. http://tfl.nu/mbe0
  Replies (9) Good night (4000) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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  (217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7
  Replies (47) Good night (8742) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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  (630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7
  Replies (4) Good night (2701) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

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  (585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3
  Replies (16) Good night (5702) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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  (978): I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it. http://tfl.nu/93wr
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

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  (+45): Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired. http://tfl.nu/rbaa
  Replies (9) Good night (4914) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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  (206): he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker... http://tfl.nu/z1il
  Replies (16) Good night (4997) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face

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  (814): the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face http://tfl.nu/c559
  Replies (5) Good night (1841) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more duck duck goose at the bar

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  (484): no more duck duck goose at the bar http://tfl.nu/05y7
  Replies (6) Good night (2241) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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  (925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn
  Replies (10) Good night (1097) Bad night (1798) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.

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  (317): Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road. http://tfl.nu/vlcv
  Replies (18) Good night (3182) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

  (408): View more from California

  your beer goggles are on backwards.

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  (707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh
  Replies (4) Good night (3906) Bad night (531)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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  (540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l
  Replies (25) Good night (1703) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?

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  (626): wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex? http://tfl.nu/tokd
  Replies (10) Good night (902) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (+33): View more from France

  It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"

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  (+33): It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year" http://tfl.nu/mi0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1293) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt

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