and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
