I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.