Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive. http://tfl.nu/u0rp
  Replies (15) Good night (1733) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded. http://tfl.nu/57ez
  Replies (49) Good night (1231) Bad night (4470)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat. http://tfl.nu/lz98
  Replies (12) Good night (3603) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey http://tfl.nu/owfj
  Replies (45) Good night (631) Bad night (2520)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So glad I found your sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find. (443): So glad I found your sister. http://tfl.nu/p3yp
  Replies (36) Good night (9830) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know what potassium is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember? (703): I don't even know what potassium is. http://tfl.nu/wfp6
  Replies (47) Good night (10073) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven. http://tfl.nu/4vzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2886) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested. http://tfl.nu/8mit
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner. http://tfl.nu/srex
  Replies (6) Good night (2401) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call. http://tfl.nu/huax
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (2075)
• Favorite

  (556): View more from

  Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07
  Replies (10) Good night (2038) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation. http://tfl.nu/c3ab
  Replies (5) Good night (1461) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night. http://tfl.nu/bi4m
  Replies (4) Good night (1391) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try. http://tfl.nu/jxdr
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him... http://tfl.nu/ae62
  Replies (2) Good night (191) Bad night (641)

Randomize