ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.