Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Houston, we have a blender
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
