Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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  (317): So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights? (1-317): Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude. http://tfl.nu/pkhp
  Replies (16) Good night (942) Bad night (3843)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear

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  (978): i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear http://tfl.nu/0b07
  Replies (12) Good night (3620) Bad night (2268)
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  (805): View more from California

  he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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  (805): he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me http://tfl.nu/6q8m
  Replies (18) Good night (724) Bad night (4091)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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  (586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa
  Replies (21) Good night (10492) Bad night (1268)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.

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  (716): It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it. http://tfl.nu/308e
  Replies (5) Good night (3695) Bad night (884)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he quoted the bible to break up with me

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  (570): he quoted the bible to break up with me http://tfl.nu/7gni
  Replies (21) Good night (1488) Bad night (5296)
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  (653): View more from

  I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.

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  (653): I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver. http://tfl.nu/za76
  Replies (7) Good night (1713) Bad night (981)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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  (301): I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked. http://tfl.nu/v26w
  Replies (13) Good night (3476) Bad night (1024)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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  (704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73
  Replies (10) Good night (1952) Bad night (652)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees

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  (423): I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees http://tfl.nu/90bg
  Replies (8) Good night (2623) Bad night (936)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1266) Bad night (974)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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  (865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu
  Replies (10) Good night (757) Bad night (1416)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'

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  (845): I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.' http://tfl.nu/qnb2
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (1243)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW

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  (239): THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW http://tfl.nu/gnot
  Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (259)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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  (508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (251)

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