You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.