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• (913): View more from Kansas

  ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  what?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  your penis

  Fav 11 1811 4179

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

  Fav 39 1889 4333

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

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• (646): View more from New York

  He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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• (408): View more from California

  This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?

  (561): View more from Florida

  Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.

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