OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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