she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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