I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
