I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
