You're earring is so big in my mouth
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
