closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
