There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
