i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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