Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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