He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
high people should be assigned attendants
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
