So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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