just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
