carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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