just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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