the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
