I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
