youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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