you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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