he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am one with the molecules
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
