You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
