normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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