I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
