You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
