Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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