Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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