so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
