Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
