i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
