how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
