Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You are a genius and a whore.
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