just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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